The holiday season can be a time of joy and connection, but it often comes with heightened stress, complicated family dynamics, financial pressures, and increased symptoms for clients struggling with mental health challenges. As therapists, we play a crucial role in helping our clients navigate these challenges. Here are some strategies to provide meaningful support during this time of year.

1. Normalize the Challenges of the Season

Many clients feel they are “supposed” to feel happy during the holidays, leading to guilt or shame if they don’t. Remind them that it’s okay to have mixed emotions or to struggle during this time of year. Normalize their experiences by discussing how the holidays can amplify stress, grief, or anxiety, and provide psychoeducation about why this happens.

2. Focus on Values, Not Perfection

The holidays often come with pressure to create “perfect” experiences or meet unrealistic expectations (especially true with how social media can paint the holidays). Encourage clients to identify what matters most to them during this season like connection, rest, or meaningful traditions, then guide them to prioritize these over societal or familial expectations. This is a good opportunity to help clients challenge their unhelpful “shoulds.”

For clients with OCD or anxiety, practicing values-based exposures can be especially helpful. For example:

• Facing the fear of imperfection by intentionally letting go of overly detailed holiday plans.
• Challenging the discomfort of saying “no” to commitments that don’t align with their values or cause undue stress.

3. Help Set Realistic Boundaries

Family gatherings and social obligations can be a significant source of stress. Work with your clients to identify their emotional and physical limits. Help them practice setting boundaries around time, energy, and conversations. Role-playing boundary-setting in session can help build confidence.

Some examples of how you can encourage clients to practice boundaries and assertiveness:

• “I appreciate the invitation, but I can’t make it this year.”
• “I’m not comfortable discussing this topic. Let’s focus on something else.”
• And, working up tolerance to “no” being a complete sentence.

4. Create a Holiday Survival Plan

Collaborate with clients to develop a personalized “holiday survival plan.” This might include:

• Scheduling downtime to recharge.
• Identifying how they will cope during high-stress moments.
• Preparing responses to triggering situations, such as unsolicited advice or intrusive questions.
• Listing a few trusted people to reach out to for support.

5. Address Grief and Loss

For many, the holidays bring reminders of loved ones who are no longer present. Create space for clients to process their grief. Encourage them to honor their feelings and consider ways to incorporate their loved one’s memory into holiday traditions, such as lighting a candle, sharing a story, or making a donation in their name. Provide psychoeducation on emotional experiences that happen with grief and loss, and that whatever they are feeling is acceptable. Help them to come up with how they will respond, or not, if they are given words or affirmations that feel unhelpful (ex: “your loved one is no longer suffering,” “they’re with God/higher power now,” “everything happens for a reason”). Remember, there is nothing that can be done or said to take away your client’s grief, it’s about holding space and moving toward acceptance.

6. Encourage Self-Compassion

During the holidays, it’s easy for clients to fall into self-criticism, whether it’s about what they “should” be doing or how they’re coping. Promote self-compassion by challenging harsh inner dialogue and encouraging clients to treat themselves with the same kindness they’d offer a friend. Kristin Neff has some great resources on self-compassion, including a video where she debunks myths associated with self-compassion that are worth a watch and sharing with clients.

7. Keep Cultural Sensitivity in Mind

The holidays look different for everyone. Be mindful of diverse traditions, religions, and cultural practices. For clients who don’t celebrate traditional holidays, or those who feel alienated during this time, explore ways they can create their own meaningful experiences.

8. Foster Connection and Community

Feelings of loneliness and isolation can intensify during the holidays, especially for clients without supportive families. Encourage them to seek connection, whether through friendships, volunteering, or joining local or online groups aligned with their values or interests. Provide support and encouragement on seeking these connections and normalize that it is okay if their supports lie outside of the traditional family structure. Family can be chosen.

Wrapping Up

The stress of the holidays often starts well before December. Begin addressing holiday concerns early in the season, and check in regularly to adapt your support as the weeks unfold. Therapists can help clients approach this season with greater resilience and confidence with a thoughtful and compassionate approach. By focusing on values, boundaries, and self-care, we can empower our clients to navigate the holidays in a way that aligns with their mental health goals and personal needs. You’ve got this, gamechanger.If you want tips for clients navigating OCD and anxiety through the holidays, check out our blog post on that topic.